Episode 9
Stepping Out of Shame and Guilt with Andrew Finnefrock
In today's episode of the Becoming the Big Me Podcast I have with me today Andrew Finnefrock. Andrew is a performance coach, founder of the C4 Method, and recovering addict. Andrew shares his "aha" moment where he finally realized he was an addict while in rehab and how he has been able to step out of the guilt and shame from his past in order to create a positive impact on the world today.
https://www.andrewfinnefrock.com/
https://www.facebook.com/andrew.finnefrock
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Hi! I am your host Djemilah Birnie of www.becomingthebigme.com . I have been building businesses online since the age of 17. When I discovered the power that we hold within our own minds my world truly began to change.
I love to write and have published some books, some of them have even hit some charts 😲 You can check them out here http://bit.ly/djemilahbooks
Ready to start playing BIG and step into your Big Me potential by harnessing the power of your mind? Then make sure you join the free Rewire challenge to get all the tools you need! https://www.djemilah.com/rewirechallenge
Don't forget to check out the little lady's podcast "A Kid's Perspective" where she answers your questions on all of life's most pressing issues, in her eyes, a kid! http://bit.ly/akidsperspective
Let's Connect! #allthelinks ⬇
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Transcript
Alright, let's go. Hey, you guys, it's Djemilah. Welcome ba
Speaker:k to The becoming the big e podcast. I have with me he
Speaker:e today, one of my absolu e favorite people. Andrew Fi
Speaker:n brought from the mental weal h project on Andrew husband, o
Speaker:e of my really great friends ov r the past couple of years. B
Speaker:t he's actually now one of y coaches, and I have grown
Speaker:o just really, really have a l t of respect for Andrew, he's be
Speaker:n through so much. He's on h s journey of sobriety a
Speaker:d recovery. And the biggest thi g about Andrew, you guys is y
Speaker:u will never meet a man that h s as much heart as Andrew doe
Speaker:. And so, Andrew, welcome to t e show. I'm so happy to have y
Speaker:u here. And I'm really, real y excited for the knowledge th
Speaker:t you're about to drop because I know that you're going to ha
Speaker:e some amazing nuggets you alwa s do. I cannot miss t
Speaker:e conversation with you that y u do not drop some fir
Speaker:Well, thank you so much for having me. And congratulations
Speaker:on everything that you've done as well. Like it's been really
Speaker:cool to watch you grow the people, you're inspiring the
Speaker:businesses you're doing. And you also don't do anything half
Speaker:assed, you do everything with your full heart. So
Speaker:congratulations to you for that.
Speaker:Thank you. I appreciate that. So Andrew, I know that you have
Speaker:become very vulnerable with your story. And that has been a big
Speaker:thing that I really respect you or is your vulnerability and,
Speaker:and this podcast that becoming the big big podcast is all about
Speaker:stepping into the greater version of yourself each and
Speaker:every day. And I hold the belief that there's never a time that
Speaker:we have a right that we have arrived to a place it's always a
Speaker:journey and we're always becoming but I do want to kind
Speaker:of just go back a little bit for you and just hear a little bit
Speaker:of your backstory and how you came to be the man that you are
Speaker:today.
Speaker:Yeah, and before I do that, I want to say I want everybody
Speaker:here this for people that are trying to find out who they are.
Speaker:Do you find out who you are in your vulnerability If you're not
Speaker:being vulnerable, you're never gonna find out who you are. So,
Speaker:just about me, you know, it's crazy. Every time I get asked
Speaker:this, like, you know, I'm an over analyzer too. I'm like, how
Speaker:far do I go back? How much details you know, but you know,
Speaker:really important things about me is a little bit me as a kid is I
Speaker:always cared about people. My mom said, you know, growing up,
Speaker:when we lived out in the country that I ran up to her one time
Speaker:and said, You know, I, I know what I want to do when I grow
Speaker:up. And, and I told her that I wanted to build houses for
Speaker:people that couldn't afford it. And, you know, I also grew up
Speaker:with a bunch of, you know, there were some intense situations,
Speaker:you know, my growing up with my family wasn't like everybody
Speaker:else's. Or maybe it was like a lot of people's but I just grew
Speaker:up a lot differently, I had to think a lot differently. I did.
Speaker:You know, there was a lot of arguing and a lot of, you know,
Speaker:a lot of verbal abuse. So, you know, I always went through
Speaker:school, just with that heart that you were talking about. And
Speaker:I cared about people. In fact, whenever other kids would make
Speaker:fun of other kids, I was always wondering why they would do it.
Speaker:I mean, I understood how it worked. Like, like, I
Speaker:understood, they were trying to hurt somebody else, but I never
Speaker:understood why I just never really had the intent to try and
Speaker:hurt anybody. Now for further in my story, I end up hurting
Speaker:myself a lot. But, so that was kind of just me, just the real,
Speaker:genuine kid growing up, and I let people walk on me and I
Speaker:didn't have a lot of self confidence. And so that was, you
Speaker:know, when I got into middle school is really when my
Speaker:insecurities and, and self worth and everything really just just
Speaker:hit the floor. I remember. And I've actually never shared this
Speaker:the first day of sixth grade. You know, I got in the car with
Speaker:my mom said, How was it and I just broke down because some of
Speaker:my friends that I had had in fifth grade turned on me. And I
Speaker:didn't have anywhere to sit on in during sixth grade. And it
Speaker:was a really hard time. And for the first half of sixth grade,
Speaker:it was really, really rough. You know, when I was on Adderall,
Speaker:which made me or no Ritalin at the time, which made me
Speaker:extremely socially awkward and nervous. And it really, really
Speaker:put a magnifying glass in all my, my read or already had
Speaker:insecurities. And so I had a rough time in school growing up.
Speaker:And you know, I did eventually get some good friends and you
Speaker:know, some friends also that made fun of me, that took
Speaker:advantage of me. And then I go into high school. And you know,
Speaker:I was good at sports. I had a lot of natural talent. And so I
Speaker:was a baseball player. And so that got me in with a really
Speaker:popular crowd. But I was still the person who got made fun of
Speaker:in the popular crowd. You know, I still continuously didn't
Speaker:stand up for myself and I struggled with school. I growing
Speaker:up, they were always testing me to see where my intelligence is
Speaker:out in the intelligence was always really high. But my
Speaker:grades never reflected it. And so in high school, I barely
Speaker:graduated. And then I got out of high school and I I moved
Speaker:actually to Ohio, because I met a girl on AOL. And I was doing
Speaker:online any way before it was ever cool. And so I moved to
Speaker:Ohio. And of course, I was in no shape to be a partner to a girl
Speaker:at that time. And I was insecure. And of course it
Speaker:didn't go well. So that was a traumatic experience. For me. It
Speaker:was the first time I really really hardcore, fell in love.
Speaker:And I kind of came back to Tulsa, where I live with my tail
Speaker:between my legs and started working in retail. And I met a
Speaker:guy there that was trying to start a band. And I had a drum
Speaker:set and I drummed and learned how to drum growing up and I got
Speaker:into playing professional music for a few years from like 2002
Speaker:to maybe 2007 on and off. And really enjoyed that. I mean that
Speaker:was one of my favorite things to do. Music is a passion of mine.
Speaker:I tried to kind of get through this quick and then I played
Speaker:professional music I then got out of professional music, I
Speaker:made an attempt to go into the Coast Guard and serve I passed
Speaker:my flight physical but then I ended up getting declined
Speaker:because of like an oversized left ventricle and in some some
Speaker:condition I mean I actually was weird I passed my flight
Speaker:physical with the Air Force medical staff but then when they
Speaker:sent the Coast Guard they still declined it.
Speaker:And then so at that point in time I'd made the decision I had
Speaker:so much pressure always to do the next thing Why am I not
Speaker:doing this? Why am I not doing this? My dad was so hard to me
Speaker:you need to be doing that you need to be doing that. And I was
Speaker:working for Best Buy at the time doing home, home theater
Speaker:automation installations. And I was making decent money and I
Speaker:thought for the first time I'm just going to take some time do
Speaker:this job and kind of just be okay to coast for a little
Speaker:while. And and at this point in my life I wasn't a big drinker.
Speaker:I like to drink and stuff and I did party a lot whenever I
Speaker:played professional music, but never really took control of my
Speaker:life. So I did that for a few years. And then I got let go on
Speaker:my job there. And then I ended up working for a communications
Speaker:company. And I did so well at one of the jobs there and sales,
Speaker:I got promoted to the business sector. And I did okay. But then
Speaker:right around that time is where my addiction and alcoholism
Speaker:really took over. I got prescribed Xanax, because I was
Speaker:having some anxiety. And that's when everything started
Speaker:dwindling for me. And my drinking started taking over.
Speaker:And that's let's fast forward to where I made the big decision.
Speaker:You know, there's so much behind that story about going out
Speaker:making an ass of myself, and, you know, just just drinking, I
Speaker:was never like an angry person that fought, I just was like, a
Speaker:just a drunk, and I love to do drugs. And, you know, no matter
Speaker:what the drug was, I do it. And but, so I remember, you know, it
Speaker:was around, it was 2013. And I remember I was sitting on my
Speaker:dad's fireplace, and we were talking and he said, I just
Speaker:carried on and on and on for a long time. And eventually, I
Speaker:said, You know what, maybe I should get some help. And when I
Speaker:didn't know what the time is, my family was kind of in the
Speaker:background, maybe trying to plan an intervention, or how do we
Speaker:approach them, so everybody else saw it. And I'm thankful that
Speaker:they didn't do that. Because I personally, in my opinion, I'm
Speaker:against interventions, I don't think that they're always
Speaker:effective. I think they remove the one foundational security
Speaker:that addicts alcoholics have. But anyway, so I made the
Speaker:decision. And at this time, I wasn't convinced I was an addict
Speaker:or an alcoholic, I was just like, you know what, like, I'm
Speaker:gonna go to treatment, get a 30 day time out and, you know, get
Speaker:just get a break from life. And so I made the decision to go,
Speaker:and I go to treatment. And the first two days were pretty easy,
Speaker:because my withdrawals hadn't kicked in. And so the reason I'm
Speaker:fast forwarding to this part is this is where all the pivotal
Speaker:moments and the big lessons in my life happened. And so I was
Speaker:in treatment, and I was in a room where they, you know, said
Speaker:for me to go, and I'm sitting at the back of the room, and I have
Speaker:an attitude. I'm, I'm entitled, I think, Oh, I work for I'm an
Speaker:account executive for a communications company, I don't
Speaker:belong here. I'm not one of them. Some guy was speaking and
Speaker:you hear me say a lot, the F word saved my life. And some guy
Speaker:starts cussing, so I start paying attention to him. And
Speaker:because I was paying attention to him, he said, Guys, this is
Speaker:going to get you to jails, institutions, or death. And I
Speaker:remember like, boom, immediately, my brain was like,
Speaker:Oh, he's not talking to you. And I disqualified myself from that.
Speaker:Yeah. Because I've never been arrested. That's like, that has
Speaker:to be a spiritual God thing in itself. I mean, I've never been
Speaker:handcuffed. And I've been arrested, I've driven drunk, and
Speaker:I've done drugs, broken the law and all that stuff. Never been
Speaker:caught, right. And so I immediately was like,
Speaker:well, this guy's not talking to me. And the best thing that's
Speaker:ever happened to me in my life happened.
Speaker:This guy walked up to me, and he could see it on my face. And he
Speaker:walked up and said, the five words that will forever have
Speaker:changed my life. He said, you're in a fucking institution, and
Speaker:looked me right in the eye and just boom. Because the treatment
Speaker:facility is an institution, it's a mental institution. And a lot
Speaker:of people sometimes contextualize that, like that I
Speaker:was just in an institution of denial and so forth. But I was
Speaker:literally in an institution. Yeah. And I remember thinking
Speaker:Holy shit. And I couldn't believe like, how blatantly
Speaker:obvious it was, where I was, but how much I believed that I
Speaker:wasn't. Well, I was fascinated with that.
Speaker:That's the thing with with this disease is that when you are in
Speaker:it, you can't see it's only disease, like you said, that
Speaker:tells you that you don't have it. Right, like when you are in
Speaker:your mind will do anything you possibly can to this to distort
Speaker:and justify reality, to align with you not having a problem.
Speaker:Yes. And that is something that I just feel like it's so
Speaker:important for others to understand, especially if you
Speaker:are dealing with an addict in your life is the chances are,
Speaker:they do not see what you see. So maybe everyone else. Yeah, and
Speaker:just like you, Andrew, where everyone around, you could see
Speaker:the problem. I mean, it was the same situation for me, everyone
Speaker:around me could see it. I'm like, No, you guys are the
Speaker:Bravo. Right. And that's what we do. Yeah.
Speaker:You know, we need to do a whole other show about that. Because,
Speaker:I mean, there's a lot to unpack there. And, you know, there's a
Speaker:lot of people that would say, Oh, it was a choice, you know,
Speaker:why'd you choose to do that and it's not that simple and And you
Speaker:can only understand it if you've been on both sides of it. I've
Speaker:been on that side where like, it's just as believable. And I
Speaker:do a speech about this, that two plus two equals five. Because
Speaker:whenever like, I would do my bad behaviors or addiction, alcohol
Speaker:and behaviors. Like it was just as simple as that. If I say two
Speaker:plus two, your brain says four without even you questioning it,
Speaker:in those thoughts to make those decisions that most people think
Speaker:are bad decisions and are bad decisions. Is that real, and
Speaker:that believable in those moments? That it's like, go
Speaker:drink, go do drugs, go shoot up, go snort cocaine, whatever, like
Speaker:it's believable. And so, I mean, we could talk about that for
Speaker:hours. So I just would say, for anybody listening, for anybody
Speaker:listening, if you do know, an addict, or an alcoholic, or
Speaker:someone like, I want you to think about that, in the
Speaker:majority of all cases, they're not choosing to have a miserable
Speaker:life. They just don't know that it's that miserable, and they
Speaker:really don't know what to do. So anyway, I'll get back to my
Speaker:story. So, at that point in time, I just was like, holy
Speaker:shit. Like if I if that's one thing that I don't know, what
Speaker:else is it that I don't know about myself? And that's when I
Speaker:became ready to receive information. That's when I
Speaker:became ready to learn. And from that point on, I was at least
Speaker:willing to listen, I wasn't fully convinced. But I at least
Speaker:what knew that there was something wrong in my thinking.
Speaker:And that's what's so fascinating is there was every sign around
Speaker:me. I mean, it was so blatantly obvious that it took that one
Speaker:statement to get me to think about it, but it was there was
Speaker:everything around me. No friends, I mean, drinking a full
Speaker:glass of vodka to go to sleep, you know, doing so much cocaine
Speaker:that I would, would pray because I thought I was going to
Speaker:overdose because even at the time, I didn't even believe in
Speaker:God. And I was too selfish to believe in God. But when I
Speaker:thought I was gonna overdose, you bet your ass myself or self
Speaker:was like, Oh, I'm gonna pray now. Anyway. So there was tons
Speaker:of things around me, they just were so obvious that that they
Speaker:was right in front of me. Okay, so
Speaker:the funny thing is like, that's, that's how our brains work.
Speaker:Right? Like, like confirmation bias, our our brains will
Speaker:literally go out and seek the information that backs up what
Speaker:we hold as truth. While we hold deepest truths to ourselves. If
Speaker:we don't believe that we're adding, our brain will go out
Speaker:and find any information that it can possibly piece together to
Speaker:show us that we're not. And then you switch, if the same thing
Speaker:happens and what you did it sounds like that that man coming
Speaker:up to you, and speaking that to you, it all it did was it opened
Speaker:the it opened the question. So it wasn't such a hard set belief
Speaker:like, oh, maybe there is and more information just started to
Speaker:leak in?
Speaker:Yes. I mean, like we experienced it on clubhouse last night,
Speaker:there was an individual that was just trying to argue with
Speaker:there's so much and create the narrative that they wanted to
Speaker:believe. And anyway, there was so much irony in that situation
Speaker:as I now think about it, but so you'll make keep going or Yes.
Speaker:Okay, cool. So that was the really big first pivotal moment.
Speaker:And the lesson I learned there is there's a big difference
Speaker:between being honest with yourself and the truth. And so,
Speaker:my withdrawals hadn't hit at that point. And so about one or
Speaker:two days later, later, later, my withdrawal started kicking in.
Speaker:And to be honest, if I would have known how bad my
Speaker:withdrawals were gonna be, I would not have gone to
Speaker:treatment. I was like, Ah, you know, so I assumed heroin
Speaker:withdrawals were the worst, but I was withdrawing from Xanax
Speaker:alcohol, and just tons of that fake synthetic pot. And so my
Speaker:withdrawal, start hitting and I've tried to articulate him.
Speaker:I've tried to explain them to people, and they're
Speaker:unexplainable, but I'll try and do it justice again. It is in
Speaker:was the most physical aching pain, like the flu times 100 the
Speaker:anxiety and mental struggle like impending doom times 100 I went
Speaker:temporarily blind because my eyes are dilated so much, I was
Speaker:profusely shaking, like I had Parkinson's or something like
Speaker:that. I was just shaking, I just looked terrible. And so I was in
Speaker:the treatment facility, and I'm such an overachiever, because I
Speaker:was the one in treatment that was withdrawing the absolute
Speaker:worst. I was literally the guy like if you were to walk into
Speaker:that room, like all these people withdrawing in bad shape, like,
Speaker:I'm not as bad as that fucking guy. Like, that was me. And so I
Speaker:was tired of being judged, or at least what what I was perceiving
Speaker:as judgment. That could have been my projections, but I was
Speaker:just I was exhausted. So I go into the bathroom. And I'll tell
Speaker:you how I experienced it at the time and then tell you what I
Speaker:think really happened. But I was I went to the bathroom and I was
Speaker:just wanting a break from being judged and I was thinking to
Speaker:myself, I can't believe how This is and I was having to count
Speaker:five seconds at a time just to survive like, Can I survive this
Speaker:another five seconds. It was the worst mental and physical pain
Speaker:I've ever experienced in my life. And it was the hardest
Speaker:thing I've ever had to go through and will be the hardest
Speaker:thing that I've ever had to get through. And I remember this, I
Speaker:was standing in that bathroom just like it was yesterday. And
Speaker:I looked over in the last thing I saw, I saw this let go and let
Speaker:God sign. And this isn't really such a significant spiritual
Speaker:thing. It was just the last thing that I saw. And then I
Speaker:looked in the mirror, and I could see it. For the first
Speaker:time, I can see my swollen face, my red face, how pathetic I
Speaker:look, my sadness, the misery, just all the pain. And I looked
Speaker:at myself and I got emotional and started crying. And I
Speaker:thought, holy shit, Andrew, you are in bad shape. And it hit me
Speaker:how bad I was. And this is where I got the gift that I think not
Speaker:everybody gets the gift to receive. But it hit me because
Speaker:when I walked into that bathroom, I was the victim. I
Speaker:was blaming other people, I was saying why I was around
Speaker:alcoholism, I was verbally abused. I had this type of
Speaker:growing up, excuse excuse victim victim, I was the victim. In all
Speaker:of a sudden, I thought to myself, alright, Andrew, you're
Speaker:here because of all the thoughts, decisions and actions
Speaker:you've made. This is because of what you've done, Andrew, nobody
Speaker:else did this. And it just hit me. I was like, You know what?
Speaker:It may not be my fault. I'm here. But it sure as fuck is my
Speaker:responsibility to get out of it. And I thought I'm the one that
Speaker:made all the thoughts, decisions and actions to get myself here.
Speaker:And I'm going to be the one who gets myself out of it. And that
Speaker:happened in a matter of minutes.
Speaker:And isn't that just like the most heavy yet liberating
Speaker:thought and experience right there? Because not only Yes, it
Speaker:is your responsibility that that you have come to that place, and
Speaker:you've come to that point that you are at. But guess what does
Speaker:that mean? You have the ability to change that. And that's what
Speaker:I think is so powerful, because you did. So yes, I would love
Speaker:for you to dive into, into that part into now you had that
Speaker:realization, the awareness, you have a woken to to yourself,
Speaker:right? That's really all that happened. It was an awakening to
Speaker:your own self and who you were and how you were to be. And from
Speaker:that moment,
Speaker:carry on.
Speaker:Oh, yeah. So and I'm going to sidestep for a second, because
Speaker:this is something I'm so passionate about. There's so
Speaker:many people out there that are stuck, and they don't know it.
Speaker:They don't even realize that they're blaming other people and
Speaker:their brain gives them all these excuses to where, why they can't
Speaker:succeed, why they can't move forward. And I was one of those
Speaker:people. And this is the reason I do what I do. Because I want
Speaker:someone to have that aha moment like I did. And if you're
Speaker:listening, I want you to pay attention. Because if you're
Speaker:someone who's stuck, and you're blaming other things, and you
Speaker:think it's, it's someone else's fault, or some other
Speaker:environments fault, I want you to really think about this,
Speaker:because what you're really admitting is if it's someone
Speaker:else's fault, someone else's, or some other experience or some
Speaker:other situation outside yourself that you're where you're at,
Speaker:then what that means is you can't do a fucking thing about
Speaker:it, it means that you're stuck. And that other situation is
Speaker:going to be the only thing that can get you out of it. So
Speaker:there's so much beauty and so much power in saying Yes, it's
Speaker:me. Yes, it's my decisions. Yes, it's everything I've done.
Speaker:Because that means you can get yourself out of the situation,
Speaker:when we blame an outside situation. And that means we
Speaker:give the power to the outside situation, that we can't do it
Speaker:unless that thing place or whatever it is, makes a change.
Speaker:And that's not the truth. And so I get very passionate about
Speaker:that, because I don't want any human to spend one more second
Speaker:longer than they have to stuck in that mindset. Because it was
Speaker:miserable for me. And I feel like I've gotten the gift to see
Speaker:the other side of it.
Speaker:And I absolutely love that passion and Andrew because it's
Speaker:something that you have, that you have lived in. And you see
Speaker:how taking that ownership has transformed your life. I mean,
Speaker:that was something that we were discussing in that in that room
Speaker:was was calling, taking on the ownership and the title of the
Speaker:name, attic. Like that's something that we wear with
Speaker:pride because that awareness is so crucial to our sobriety and
Speaker:grow. And yeah. And that just and I feel the same passion. I
Speaker:love that passion and that fire behind that because it's real.
Speaker:And then that's the heart And guys, that's exactly what I was
Speaker:telling the beginning of this is this is Andrews heart coming
Speaker:through all of that passion that comes through from him. That's
Speaker:love. And that's how he shows his love because it's the truth
Speaker:and that's really how how you do transform your life and I know
Speaker:that Andrew really does want to help as many people transform
Speaker:their lives and that's why You see that that fire coming
Speaker:through. And that's why you're that.
Speaker:I appreciate that. And, and I appreciate you bring that up,
Speaker:you know, I only know how to help people the way that I was
Speaker:helped. And I want even if I upset somebody or piss them off
Speaker:like that means I hit an emotion. And the guy that said,
Speaker:you're in a fucking institution, you think I liked hearing that
Speaker:at first? No, I hated the guy for it. But now he's probably
Speaker:the most important I don't even know his name, know who he is.
Speaker:But he's probably most influential guy in my life. You
Speaker:know, and if the listeners are probably thinking, Well, what
Speaker:happened on clubhouse last night, someone came into one of
Speaker:our rooms just to contextualize. And they were trying to tell us
Speaker:and us being me, you and some other addicts and alcoholics
Speaker:that have turned it into success, that they don't see us
Speaker:as addicts and alcoholics. And they were trying to tell us how
Speaker:to feel about us. And the simple answer to that is we were
Speaker:stating the fact that we can't solve a problem that we don't
Speaker:understand to exist. And honestly, I've said this before,
Speaker:if I had to identify as a worthless piece of shit, to get
Speaker:the results that I had, I don't give a shit what I have to say
Speaker:about myself, right? Because I've learned that in my
Speaker:humility. Now, and I want to make sure I'm not saying that I
Speaker:smell cogs are worthless pieces of shit. I'm just saying that I
Speaker:don't care what I have to admit to own what's on my side of the
Speaker:street, because that's where the results happen. And honestly,
Speaker:the, the stronger and more fucked up your past is, the more
Speaker:people respect you because it creates contrast, like if I just
Speaker:didn't drink my whole life, it wouldn't be very interesting.
Speaker:Right? Like,
Speaker:everybody gets so stuck in the guilt and shame about their
Speaker:past. And that's the most powerful part of their life,
Speaker:because it gives you the opportunity, opportunity to show
Speaker:people who the fuck you are. Right. So like I say, the
Speaker:stronger the judgment, the more they remember you when you prove
Speaker:them wrong. Anyway,
Speaker:well, that's something that, you know, when these kinds of things
Speaker:come up, when when people feel offended by something that you
Speaker:say exactly what you're saying, Andrew, as far as the emotions
Speaker:that come up, I want you to ask you this, would you feel an
Speaker:emotion? If you 100% fully believe that it wasn't true?
Speaker:Well, no, you would not. You would not feel over here and
Speaker:saying, Andrew, you have purple hair, and I'm like trying to
Speaker:make fun of it. You're You're not going to take anything I'm
Speaker:saying seriously, because you know, for 100% fat, that's not
Speaker:true. But if I know I just be glad that you saw that I
Speaker:had hair. But if I'm
Speaker:if I'm saying something that there's some underlying
Speaker:somewhere questioning, Oh, um, then you're you're going to,
Speaker:you're going to feel that and you're going to have your eye on
Speaker:that hold on a second. Am I did I just lose my video?
Speaker:Yeah, that's okay. We can keep jamming. Yeah, let's just keep
Speaker:rolling. Um, and so that being said, it's it's really important
Speaker:to me that people understand that when I was on a podcast a
Speaker:couple years ago, I remember the gentleman saying, Andrew, when
Speaker:you get that feeling to shut down or not share that fear.
Speaker:That's when you lean in, that's when you lean in, and you really
Speaker:overshare. And I'll never forget that because that ties, so true
Speaker:to what you're saying that like, if I've offended somebody, or
Speaker:I've upset somebody, it's not me, it's that I hit a nerve. And
Speaker:when you hit a nerve, that means it's something to explore. Now,
Speaker:there's a difference in someone insulting you, and just being an
Speaker:asshole. Someone's saying something that gets you to have
Speaker:an emotional reaction, the people that are successful that
Speaker:I know, including you and myself, when someone upsets me,
Speaker:I think why did that upset me? And let's explore that some
Speaker:more. So,
Speaker:honestly, you are so you showcase this so much, just in
Speaker:your being just as being your friend. I know, there's been
Speaker:multiple occasions where you contacting me after a
Speaker:conversation just to verify and just to like clear things up,
Speaker:because maybe sometimes, in our conversation get a little more
Speaker:heated sometimes or you know, whatever direction they go, but
Speaker:you will always contact like, you have that self awareness
Speaker:afterwards. Like, Oh, wait, maybe that was perceived in you
Speaker:know, x way. So that's something that I just think is really
Speaker:powerful, because it's something that you showcase every day. Not
Speaker:only are you talking about it, but you live it every single
Speaker:day.
Speaker:Yeah, well, thank you for that. And same for you. So I'll kind
Speaker:of get back to the story. I realized that I was the person
Speaker:that could get myself out of the situation. It was very
Speaker:empowering for a couple reasons. Because if you're listening and
Speaker:you're in a situation and you feel hopeless, and you feel like
Speaker:there's nowhere to go or you're stuck, pay attention because
Speaker:this is what's so cool about it. Whenever I was in that moment, I
Speaker:had heard that that synthetic pot made people have permanent
Speaker:damage. I actually had believed that I was permanently messed up
Speaker:and then Whenever I had to realize that I had to admit that
Speaker:I was an addict or an alcoholic, and please, listeners, if you're
Speaker:listening, if you're like, Well, I'm not an addict and alcoholic,
Speaker:please contextualize this to your life. Because as soon as I
Speaker:admitted that I was an addict or an alcoholic, like, right, when
Speaker:I had that moment that like, I'm going to be the one that gets
Speaker:myself out of it. I didn't admit I had a problem, I found the
Speaker:solution.
Speaker:Right?
Speaker:I'm gonna say that, again, I, it wasn't so much about admitting
Speaker:the problem. Because when you find a problem, that means
Speaker:there's a solution on the horizon. But if we're denying
Speaker:the problem, denying what's really in front of us, and
Speaker:denying the real situation that's in front of us, we can't
Speaker:solve a problem that we don't understand to exist. So from
Speaker:that point forward in that bathroom. And the other side of
Speaker:that was, I feel like I walked into that bathroom to give up,
Speaker:looking back. And that's where I feel like God said, I'm not done
Speaker:with you. Because I had such a spiritual transformation of how
Speaker:I perceive the situation. And that's just really important to
Speaker:me, because I am faith based. And I do believe God intervened
Speaker:in my life, whether it's you guys believe the universe, or
Speaker:whatever it is, I believe there was an intervention. And I
Speaker:believe I am here to help other people walk through life and
Speaker:have just huge changes in their life. And that's what I've done.
Speaker:So from that point on, I made the decision to to just say, all
Speaker:right, my thinking is not right, I'm going to listen to other
Speaker:people and let them kind of tell me exactly what I need to do.
Speaker:Because it's time for me to learn and stop just being left
Speaker:to how I think I need to do things. So that was where I
Speaker:learned how to learn a lesson. And so I started doing what they
Speaker:said, You know, I get out of treatment. And I was working as
Speaker:an account executive at that technology company. And I really
Speaker:didn't have a lot of I wasn't very successful with that job, I
Speaker:didn't have a lot of production, or er, didn't have a lot of
Speaker:production. I wasn't selling a lot, because obviously I wasn't
Speaker:alone, my addiction and stuff. But a job came across for me to
Speaker:start getting into capital equipment sales, selling CNC
Speaker:machines, and it was a great opportunity. And I got into it,
Speaker:it was awesome. I got to travel to Germany to Japan, and you
Speaker:know, really do high level sales and entertain clients, it was so
Speaker:much fun, it was right up my alley, and I was I was really
Speaker:good at it. I knew nothing about the technology. But you know,
Speaker:that's a lot about what I teach in my sales, because I sold a
Speaker:lot just based on relationships, and being honorable. And I
Speaker:remember when I got my first one point million to $1.1 million
Speaker:Po, I was like, wow, I did seven figure sales in one Po, you
Speaker:know, it was so cool. And so I did that job. And I had success
Speaker:at it. And in the beginning of 2016, the oil business went
Speaker:down. And the main market where I was selling was in Oklahoma,
Speaker:which is mostly oil and gas manufacturing. And so they had
Speaker:to let one person go, I even had more production, but they let me
Speaker:go because I was the I was the more inexperienced person and so
Speaker:there's no bitterness there. If I would have been the boss, I
Speaker:would have let me go and kept the other guy, he had way more
Speaker:experience. And it was the right business decision. And I got I
Speaker:was in a really toxic relationship at that time. So I
Speaker:had a lot of commission checks coming in. So I was like, I'm
Speaker:going to take a timeout, and I'm going to work on me. So I
Speaker:started getting into fitness, I started just really diving
Speaker:internally and doing more work on myself. And at the end of
Speaker:2016 I got into real estate investing, I met a gentleman who
Speaker:saw something in me and you know, we made money. It was fun.
Speaker:And as I was thinking about this before I've talked today, the
Speaker:majority of my sobriety has been in entrepreneurship. You know, I
Speaker:got out of the corporate world, and I got out the corporate
Speaker:mindset at the same time. I know I had to become an entrepreneur,
Speaker:my sobriety and our entrepreneurial my life. So
Speaker:I think that's really interesting. Andrew, that, that
Speaker:you say that because when before you said that I hadn't actually
Speaker:thought of it in that way myself. But same same here. Um,
Speaker:I had when I was working at varizen, I had relapsed and I
Speaker:was using again I was doing a lot of cocaine and steam, you
Speaker:know, corporate structure sit corporate sales structure. And
Speaker:when I left that position, I left that position I gave up my
Speaker:cushy salary. I was 18 years old, the youngest manager of a
Speaker:Verizon store, making you know, six figures making really good
Speaker:money, but I was using and I was my I had, my daughter was born I
Speaker:had a full time nanny. I never saw her because I was working so
Speaker:much. And, um, but when I left when I made the decision to
Speaker:leave that structure, it was because I was making In the
Speaker:decision to choose my sobriety again, and I had to change my
Speaker:environment, and that's when I dove back into entrepreneurship.
Speaker:It was the second time that I was building business. I think
Speaker:that's a very interesting point. Because I do see a lot of
Speaker:recovering addicts who do dive into entrepreneurship. And I
Speaker:think part of it, I don't know, I would love to hear your
Speaker:thoughts on this. But I feel like part of it is because we do
Speaker:need to have something that we're working towards. And we do
Speaker:need to have like that busy, that busy work almost to keep
Speaker:our minds distracted. And for me doing something to serve others
Speaker:that can really benefit the world and help others helps keep
Speaker:me on my path. What do you I'm curious what your thoughts are?
Speaker:I completely agree. I wouldn't necessarily characterize it as
Speaker:busy work but productive, we need to feel like we're
Speaker:advancing, pushing the needle forward. You know, I, as I'll
Speaker:get into my story, you know, I experienced some debt. And then,
Speaker:you know, I've worked my way out of it. And I don't feel any
Speaker:different. Right? Now, I am extremely proud of what I've
Speaker:done. But my relationship with money has changed so much. But I
Speaker:think you're right. I mean, people like us. And that's why
Speaker:most people, if they're listening, if they feel out of
Speaker:alignment, they're just really not doing what they want to do.
Speaker:Right. And we feel stuck. And, you know, I remember even when I
Speaker:was working through my debt, like my routine was on point.
Speaker:And I was so passionate, because I had this realization. That,
Speaker:because I was really down on myself for about six months. I
Speaker:was like, because I, you know, I wanted to get into coaching and
Speaker:consulting and what I'm doing now. And
Speaker:I was really hard on myself. And I thought, okay, Andrew, like, I
Speaker:created this environment in my head of so much shame, guilt,
Speaker:like, I'm not good enough, like, I can't coach. And then I
Speaker:thought to myself, when's the last time I really had a hard
Speaker:situation and what happened? And I thought, well, when I went and
Speaker:got sober, I thought, well, what happened? I was like, I came out
Speaker:better, stronger, and more successful than 99.9% of the
Speaker:other people. And then boom, I had that realization, I was
Speaker:like, I'm not a bad business guy. I just had no money
Speaker:literacy, I was great at negotiating. I was great making
Speaker:money, I was great. I mean, I have all this business
Speaker:knowledge. And I have all this proven success. I just had the
Speaker:skill of spending money like an idiot. And so I realized that I
Speaker:broke it down most people guilt and shame themselves for the
Speaker:whole picture. And all it was was I just had no money
Speaker:literacy. No one ever taught me about that. And so that was
Speaker:another lesson that I learned on my entrepreneur journey. And for
Speaker:you, listeners, if you've ever experienced the money lesson, or
Speaker:you're going through it right now, let me tell you this, every
Speaker:successful entrepreneur has gone through it. It's almost, it's
Speaker:almost like a stripe. Because I went to a conference. And this
Speaker:is the way I decided to face that fear. I went to a
Speaker:conference. And I bought the VIP ticket to really network with
Speaker:some high achievers. And I made the decision, I was gonna tell
Speaker:every single person that I was in the middle of my money
Speaker:lesson, and I was I was in debt, I made the conversation about
Speaker:the other person and found something unique about the other
Speaker:person I was talking to as a strategy to face the fear. Every
Speaker:single person asked to do business with me. They asked to
Speaker:connect with me. And they were supporting me. And they were
Speaker:like, oh, Andrew, yours is $60,000 mine was a half million.
Speaker:Mine was 2 million. This other person's like, Well, mine was 5
Speaker:million. And it was almost like they, they were a priest, they
Speaker:appreciated me sharing the lesson. And they wanted to take
Speaker:care of me and help me understand it like, bro, I've
Speaker:been through it too. Yeah, and that's how I face that fear. So,
Speaker:um, yeah,
Speaker:Wow, I can't I mean, I can relate. And when I look around,
Speaker:I do see have to get past to that next level of success. You
Speaker:have to kind of wade through some of those struggles and
Speaker:figure out something, you know, like, what I've realized is, you
Speaker:know, I didn't break until after the fact I didn't break through
Speaker:levels of success in my life at cert when I wanted them. Because
Speaker:at that time, if I would have I would have totally messed it up.
Speaker:I did not have, you know, the tools, the resources, the people
Speaker:that systems, the skills to be able to handle what I wanted or
Speaker:what I you know, what I was asking for at that time. And so
Speaker:I had to go through those struggles, so I can figure out
Speaker:better systems so I could get the skills so that I could move
Speaker:on to the next step and you never see it when you're in it.
Speaker:Oh, absolutely. You know, once you're out of it, and you're
Speaker:looking back and you're like, Oh, that's why that you know,
Speaker:you start to connect. Yes.
Speaker:You just said the most brilliant thing to me is, you never know
Speaker:what the lesson is when you're in the middle of it. And I want
Speaker:to get back on track. get to this story so we can keep
Speaker:moving. So I've kind of talked a little bit about it. I was
Speaker:taking care of myself in 2016. I was in the gym and I was really
Speaker:trying to discover I got into real estate. I loved it. I did.
Speaker:You know, there's some really cool things I did in real estate
Speaker:investing. My partner was really good at finding the deals. And
Speaker:then I was the negotiator I brokered the deals, I got the
Speaker:investors, I structured things, I mean, just moving and shaking,
Speaker:making shit happen. I mean, I loved it. And so I experienced a
Speaker:couple lessons during that time, like, I got fired by my real
Speaker:estate agent. And yes, you guys heard that correctly. The real
Speaker:estate agent that I was paying, she fired me, it was the best
Speaker:one, it was probably the second most important lesson I've ever
Speaker:learned. Because what I realized is like, I didn't realize how I
Speaker:was treating people. This is the same cycle psychology, as we
Speaker:talked about before. I, and this is what I apply to my coaching
Speaker:and everything and everybody pay attention. This is so
Speaker:fascinating. She fired me because I was so difficult to
Speaker:deal with. And I thought we were going to lunch to celebrate,
Speaker:going our first flip. And what I found out was that I assumed
Speaker:everybody would tell me if they were mad at me. Like because of
Speaker:how I was raised if everything wasn't perfect, like I was,
Speaker:like, if everything wasn't perfect in the house, like I was
Speaker:either yelled at or criticized. So I grew up the majority of my
Speaker:life thinking that if something's wrong, I'm going to
Speaker:hear about it. So that's why no news is was good news. And
Speaker:nobody was telling me that I was I was a little short with them.
Speaker:And I was difficult to work with. So I had no information.
Speaker:And so once again, in 2017, I had to really dig in and think,
Speaker:what am I doing? What do I need to do better. And so I started
Speaker:passionately studying leadership, how to work with
Speaker:people, I've always had the gift of reading people, but I didn't
Speaker:have the skills, like leadership is a skill, people is a skill
Speaker:and you can learn it. And so I started really focusing on my
Speaker:business relationships, the healthy way, the right way. And
Speaker:then my personal relationship started following suit, and
Speaker:boom, that's when the light bulb went off. That's when I realized
Speaker:that everything ties together. That's why I'm so successful
Speaker:coaching people right now, because I know how to tie it all
Speaker:together. Because it's more than just money. It's more than just
Speaker:the thing you think it is it all ties together. And my gift is
Speaker:been able to give people like long life lasting success in all
Speaker:areas of their life no matter what it is. And
Speaker:so
Speaker:I learned the money lesson, I learned that I needed to learn
Speaker:how to treat people differently, more tactically. And I made the
Speaker:decision, I wanted to work with people and coach people, because
Speaker:there's a lot of people out there that are phenomenal people
Speaker:with extremely unhealthy behaviors that don't serve them.
Speaker:And that's what all this is about. That's what that's why
Speaker:I'm here. That's why I coach, because there's great people out
Speaker:there. And honestly, the more I climb the ladder in the
Speaker:entrepreneurial world and get to know people, here's what I found
Speaker:out the really good people like me and you and the listeners and
Speaker:people listening that are good people. We have a hard time
Speaker:telling people how good of a person we are. Right. And
Speaker:there's a lot of shitty people out there that are great at
Speaker:telling everybody how good they really aren't. Yeah. And so my
Speaker:mission is to empower the people that need to serve others, like
Speaker:the good people that have the skills to help others because
Speaker:they're good people. Right? We're the people that need to
Speaker:stand up and represent entrepreneurship, and growth.
Speaker:Because we have a responsibility, because we're
Speaker:ethical, we're more we have integrity. These are the people
Speaker:that need to be helping other people. But it's so fascinating,
Speaker:because there's a lot of people out there that are so good at
Speaker:marketing, but they're terrible people. And that's why I'm here.
Speaker:That's why I coach. And that's why I'm direct with people.
Speaker:That's why I do what I do. Because I will make sure when I
Speaker:leave this earth, I have changed it. And I've helped others do
Speaker:the same.
Speaker:Gosh, whoa, that's what a bomb you guys, I hope you were paying
Speaker:really close attention because every single point that Andrew
Speaker:just brought up, is completely spot on. This is something that
Speaker:I see with my clients as well. The people who are who need to
Speaker:be sharing the voice, the people who need to be out there serving
Speaker:are the ones that are you're not going to see out self promoting
Speaker:so much because that's not what it's about. But we need to and I
Speaker:love how you Andrew really help empower people to step into
Speaker:their own selves and to own their own power because that is
Speaker:how we outreach and we help uplift more people a lot of
Speaker:times, you know, good people, they have this kind of messed up
Speaker:view of wealth and what success looks like and because they're
Speaker:looking around, and they're picking out and finding all the
Speaker:negative examples Because they have their own confirmation
Speaker:biases there. And that's a whole nother topic, but they're going
Speaker:out and picking out all those people. So they subconsciously
Speaker:have this association that's negative, about being successful
Speaker:and having wealth and, and they don't want to be that because
Speaker:they are a good person. And so subconsciously, this is all
Speaker:happening on a very subconscious level. Most people don't know
Speaker:that it's happening right there, they're pushing themselves away
Speaker:from the success because they don't want to align with
Speaker:something that they don't think is good. And that's something
Speaker:that I really feel like you I mean, that's a huge belief and
Speaker:teaching that I work with my clients through. But I also feel
Speaker:like, that's something that you do a lot. As well as just help
Speaker:people give them the confidence to step into their power,
Speaker:because it's, you know, it's like the analogy of the kitchen
Speaker:knife. If someone you know, gets stabbed, right, you're not gonna
Speaker:blame the knife that stabbed them, you're going to blame the
Speaker:intention, the person behind it, it can be also that same knife
Speaker:can be used to cook a beautiful meal for a family. And we're
Speaker:just saying money is the same the wealth of success, it is a
Speaker:tool that can be used, depending on who is wielding it, depending
Speaker:on what the intentionality behind it.
Speaker:Yeah. And I'm telling you, if there was just one thing I want
Speaker:anybody to know, like, being a good person with integrity makes
Speaker:you better than 98% of your competition immediately. And for
Speaker:you guys listening. If your brain was like, No, that's not
Speaker:true. That's a thought that's, that's not serving you. That's
Speaker:one of those examples where you're like, well, I want to
Speaker:grow, but then someone gives you some advice, and then you just
Speaker:immediately discredit it. And I'm telling you, it's proven,
Speaker:it's true. Like being a good person, and taking care of
Speaker:people makes you so rare. And most of the people that I know,
Speaker:with money with success, they didn't get successful by
Speaker:treating people poorly. And by not caring with social media
Speaker:these days, and the ability to expose people, I love that
Speaker:because it makes it creates more accountability and
Speaker:responsibility. And I'm telling you, being a good person is one
Speaker:of the most valuable things, it's so valuable, it's more
Speaker:valuable than, than a skill, like caring about people is so
Speaker:valuable.
Speaker:And just one more point on that is, you know, as far as in the
Speaker:business sense, if you're able to take a customer or a client
Speaker:who is unhappy and who is upset, and you're able to show that
Speaker:value towards them and turn them into a happy client, those are
Speaker:the people who are going to end up singing your praises the most
Speaker:those are going to be the people who are going to go out, you
Speaker:know, because a loud customer who is angry is also allowed
Speaker:customer that's happened. So if you have a concern about they're
Speaker:saying negative stuff, if you go above and beyond, and be a good
Speaker:person and do the right thing, and it's not even about anything
Speaker:else, but if you just want to do the stand right by that person
Speaker:and make them happy. They're gonna add those people by being
Speaker:a good person that's going to put you above and beyond just as
Speaker:Andrew was saying, just doing the right thing when those
Speaker:issues arise.
Speaker:Yes, and I'm telling you,
Speaker:sometimes,
Speaker:and this is this is a business tactic that I teach, I'm going
Speaker:to pay attention, I go for the people that are verbose, that
Speaker:are loud, that are really not critical people, but just very
Speaker:opinionated, because here's the deal. In fact, I was at a
Speaker:training at that CNC company, the average age of the sales
Speaker:guys, there was like, 55, I was the younger guy. And this guy
Speaker:was doing a sales training, they described all these different
Speaker:types of people like, who would you want to get their attention
Speaker:in the office. And I picked the lady that is always busy, that
Speaker:you know, that they described as the one who's always busy, who
Speaker:never has time for people, I said, that's the one I would
Speaker:pick. And I was the only one of the group that picked that lady.
Speaker:And the guy said, why I said, because if I can get her to say
Speaker:something good about me or my product, then people are gonna
Speaker:pay attention. And I was the only one that was right. So what
Speaker:does this mean to the people that are listening? Right? It
Speaker:means if someone don't like, Oh, I don't want to deal with that
Speaker:person, they're a complainer. Guess what, the people around
Speaker:them also know they're kind of a complainer. They know they're
Speaker:opinionated, but they're also that type of person can also be
Speaker:a very successful person. So if you can get someone who's
Speaker:usually somewhat critical or opinionated, or just very, very
Speaker:selective about how they do business, and you Wow, that
Speaker:person, think about how impactful it is when that person
Speaker:walks around, says you're not gonna believe what this person
Speaker:did for me that the people that respond to them are gonna say,
Speaker:holy shit, I need to go pay attention to whoever this
Speaker:business is, or whoever this person is. Because if they got
Speaker:this person over here to shift their thinking, they must be
Speaker:really good. Right? We've kind of gotten down a rabbit hole
Speaker:here. I could talk about business,
Speaker:guys. I know. I know. And I feel like there's a couple of topics
Speaker:on here that we could really dig into deeper and really Go, you
Speaker:know, in depth on and I would love to have you back on the
Speaker:show so we can really dive into some of this on. I like to keep
Speaker:these around 45 minutes. So we're gonna wrap this up here,
Speaker:but oh my gosh, Andrew, that was just amazing. Your story is so
Speaker:incredible and, and I just love. I like the way that you think
Speaker:and the way that you put things together. It's just so inspiring
Speaker:and what you're doing the work that you're doing on to help
Speaker:others and to uplift others. It's so powerful. And I know, I
Speaker:don't know, Andrew, I heard so I heard a little birdie tweeting
Speaker:in my ear, and was telling me that there might be something
Speaker:coming up from you where we might be able to tune in to
Speaker:Andrews voice a little bit more often. And why? What's going on?
Speaker:Is there something of yours? Yes,
Speaker:ma'am. I will be starting a podcast, it's going to be called
Speaker:the mental wealth project. And, yes, that's something that I'm
Speaker:going to do. I was on another podcast the other day, and it
Speaker:was Trey. And I'm going to call him out Trey Carmichael. He also
Speaker:another fascinating human. He said, so tell me when you're
Speaker:starting your podcast. And so you know, he was holding me
Speaker:accountable. Right. So thank you so much for the time. And I just
Speaker:want to kind of sign off with the people that are listening
Speaker:that anytime someone has given me their time to listen, it's a
Speaker:gift. And I appreciate everybody that's taking the time to listen
Speaker:to me like you're a fascinating person. People are smart for
Speaker:listening to you, because you have so much knowledge and you
Speaker:care. And I forget your age sometimes because you know, me
Speaker:being who I am, you know, when we interact, it's it's just,
Speaker:it's fascinating to me about the person that you are. And for the
Speaker:people that are listening, I want you guys to remember that
Speaker:you really can do anything that you want to do. And as cheesy as
Speaker:that sounds, it's true. And there's a couple lessons that we
Speaker:talked about that I want you to remember, there's a big
Speaker:difference between being honest with yourself and the truth. I
Speaker:was being honest with myself, when I didn't think I had a
Speaker:problem when I didn't think I was not an alcoholic, but the
Speaker:truth of the matter is I was and we can always find one lie
Speaker:that's going to change our life, we can find one big lie. And as
Speaker:soon as we discover that, we can take action on it make a change,
Speaker:and then we can find another and that's growth. That's the that's
Speaker:the fun part of the journey. And the second part is, there's a
Speaker:big difference between fault and responsibility. We all get so
Speaker:stuck in And whose fault is it and blaming other people. And I
Speaker:understand that. If there's one thing I want you to take away
Speaker:from this, it's that fault is so irrelevant. And responsibility
Speaker:is the only thing that matters. Because, you know, I was I was
Speaker:verbally abused growing up. And that may not be my fault. But it
Speaker:sure as fuck is my responsibility that I don't
Speaker:verbally abuse somebody else. And if we get so stuck in it not
Speaker:being our fault, or that fault is, is the most important thing.
Speaker:We never get to the ownership, we never get to move forward,
Speaker:every but someone has it worse, someone has it better. But we
Speaker:all have cards were dealt. And as soon as you start saying you
Speaker:know what, I don't care whose fault it is. But this is who I
Speaker:want to be, this is what I want to do, you do have the ability
Speaker:to take ownership, you do have the ability to make shifts,
Speaker:because if I can go from drinking a full gl
